Bike Babble: Patience
After a long and tearful talk with the hubby, my bike plans are on hold for a while. For many different reasons.
One concern of utmost importance is money, as seems always to be the case, sad as that is. Whatever I get, even if it’s something as simple as the Radish, costs more than we can realistically afford right now. I don’t want to save, I want it now, but I need to save. So there’s that.
Combine that with my need to exhaust all levels of research and come up with the perfect bike combo, and my dream bike isn’t happening any time soon. It may not even exist. (Hello complete long tail with step-through design? Where are you? And can you please come in baby blue with brown leather seat, 8 geared internal hub, internal lights, and disc brakes? Ahem.)
There is a trade-off for this though, which is that I get to join the Y. I am both saddened and heartened by this.
Sad because… it’s just not what I want. I want fitness and food and chores and housekeeping and errands and… all that to just be part of my LIFE. I don’t want to arrange childcare, drive to a gym, ride a bike to nowhere while listening to music or reading a book, lift weights from a multi-thousand dollar machine, and drive home again. It just doesn’t make sense to me. It’s like the McDonald’s of fitness, except that it’s inarguably better for you. It’s just so definitive of our society that we pay for the privilege to use our bodies in ways they were never meant to be used. It actually makes me a little bit sick to think about.
I think that’s one of the reasons I’m in such bad shape — although I actually don’t mind using gyms as such — is that the philosophy behind them doesn’t jive with my developing sense of how I want to live my life. So I don’t go to them, but I don’t do anything else either.
Which brings us to why this makes me happy. At least it’s something.
I feel like I’ve been trying literally for years to figure out how to include exercise in my life in a meaningful way that also included my kids. But all of my attempts ultimately failed, for a variety of reasons. My truth is that I can’t do “normal” exercise around my kids. If I do a video the eldest argues with me about using the TV and the baby crawls underneath me. If I use the Wii Fit I have to compete with the eldest for game time, which isn’t exactly effective. If I try to go for a walk I inevitably get resistance from one or both kids, and even if we make it out the door I end up walking bent over to push both, which isn’t good for my back. Not to mention walking that much isn’t good for my feet. We have no childcare to speak of. There are always needs to be met — diapers, food, etc. There’s always something.
I don’t get a break, I don’t have any time for myself, and I have little resistance to arguments. So while I can do little bits here and there, nothing is consistent or effective. It’s enough to stave off a truly bad back injury (knock on wood) but little more.
I finally reached a point the other day when the only thought that cheered me up was going for a bike ride. I didn’t want the ice cream in the freezer. I didn’t want to buy yarn. I didn’t want to buy anything. (Okay, except a bike, but I was sick of looking for one by then.) I wanted to go for a bike ride and I couldn’t and I was just devastated. I felt so good after my ride the other day and I needed to re-capture that. I hurt every day and I’m so sick of it. I’m sick of me. Something has to change.
But I can’t get a new bike right now. What’s a girl to do?
Join the gym.
So there it is. It means I won’t likely be joining any family bike rides this summer, much to my disappointment. It means I’ll only get to go on bike rides on my crappy bike once in a blue moon.
But it also means I’ll have time to truly shop for a new bike, try out everything I can and make an educated decision, then save for it. It means I can continue biking on my own to become a more confident bicyclist in general. It means that I can work on myself at the gym so that whenever I do get my dream bike, I’m in better shape and better able to haul the kids around. And truthfully, all of that is a good thing.
So I may be disappointed, but it’s all okay. It will be okay and we’ll get there eventually. I’ve been looking for the slow life — looks like it found me, just in an unexpected way.
June 13th, 2009 at 10:08 am
why, carrie, many thanks for stopping by my site. it started mostly as a parenting blog but has moved into my crazy-in-love-with-my-bikes blog. now–fitting exercise into life with young kids has been an incredible struggle for me as well. i am impressed at the parents who have it figured out but i don’t. as a former athlete, i still think of myself as athletic but i have gained tons o’ weight over the years (& not just bearing kids). bike riding has given me such a sense of freedom in so many ways–inc. on the exercise front. however, i know i need to commit to more healthful choices in other aspects in life & i struggle with the ‘putting myself first’ and going off to exercise with the boys at home…
June 13th, 2009 at 10:23 pm
Very soon, N will be able to ride a bike and you can take a ride with him while H watched L during a long 2 hour nap during a sunny day in Seattle. You’ll ride along the Burke Gilman trail and pack a snack and both of you will be tired when you come home.
My Y had child care, it never worked perfect for me, but once in a while I’d stop at the Y on the way somewhere, get a 30 minute workout in, shower and the kids were coloring while I was gone. I’d bribe them with the museum after. When E got older she didn’t like the idea as much. We canceled the membership due to lacking funds, but later I hope to go back. Spin classes are awesome, even if you don’t go anywhere.
June 14th, 2009 at 1:02 am
The Y is okay - I think the machines are boring, too, but I read some awesome books on the treadmill and Zig always had a really good time. He did resist going sometimes, but I just told him that I needed to exercise to be healthy and that we wouldn’t stay long. Case closed. You matter just as much as your kids do (don’t turn me in to the mommy police for saying that, okay?)
Try riding at Greelake - there’s that great playground where H can watch the kids while you do some fast turns around the lake, then you can slow down and walk behind N while he does a kid-speed lap on a little bike. We used to trade off like that on our one pair of rollerblades.
Why not get just a baby seat for your existing bike? That way H could chill with N at home and you could give L some real thrills on a ride to the store or some other destination? I remember Zig used to have these beatific out-of-body experiences when I hauled him like that. When the baby sits right behind you, he’s up high and can see everything. Arsen can show you how to install a baby seat o Skype… Ok, I’ll shut up now. I just really love biking and want to see you get to do it, too!
June 14th, 2009 at 11:26 pm
This is a great first step. Think of the Y membership as a layaway payment towards the bicycle lifestyle of your dreams. You’ll get there!
I spent over a year wringing my hands before I started buying parts to build my Xtracycle, but less than 24 hours deciding to get a Madsen. Neither is ideal for every trip, but I get the same great feeling of freedom when I’m out riding either one. Maybe the “perfect” cargo bike is whichever one that you have and use.
FWIW, if I were starting from scratch again today (and with my two kids being close in age to yours), I’d get a step-thru Bianchi Milano 8-sp, Free Radical with the basic bags/deck kit, Peapod, and a rear disc brake, adding each of those components (+cargo & kids) as my fitness/confidence/budget would allow.