I’m at 36 weeks and a bit, so it’s time to switch to Heparin.

Up to now I’ve been on Lovenox, which is a version of Heparin that is not easily reversible, like the real thing, but can be taken once daily, and thus is much more convenient. Since labour involves blood, the docs wanted to have me on something they could reverse. Works for me.

Unfortunately what I did not previously appreciate was that Lovenox comes packaged in previously filled syringes. Take and toss, if you will.

Heparin comes in vials. Like at the doctor’s office. I had to buy syringes! I have to learn to fill my own shots. I know this shouldn’t sound daunting, but damn. I’m nervous! I’m sure there are people who do this every day (do diabetics draw their own insulin?) but still… Eeek!

And since Heparin wears off so quickly I get to do it three times a day. Yippee! I am going to be so black and blue by the time this is over.
Thank goodness it’s only for another few weeks. 3 weeks if all goes according to plan. Insert another ‘Eeeek!’ here :)

I am an idiot. I managed to slice open my thumb today.

The silly thing is I don’t know what I was thinking. I got out the fancy pants pampered chef grater thing because I had a bunch of parmesan to grate. After that I wanted to cut up a zucchini, which I usually do by hand with a good old fashioned knife, but I saw the blade that does thin slices and thought, ah ha! That will be fast and neat and I have to wash this contraption anyway so might as well try it. So I did. And as I was doing that, Boo said something, I looked at him but kept right on slicing, and shit if I didn’t slice open my thumb. My right thumb, the one I need to do everything with.

It’s stupid because I would never keep cutting with a knife without looking, what the hell did I think I was doing slicing without looking on this doohickie?

And of course my thumb practically fountained with blood, I felt woozy and slightly sick, and knew that it would take ages to stop bleeding because hello! I’m on blood thinners! Fortunately it wasn’t deep enough for stitches, so the bleeding did stop eventually. Now it’s all neosporined and bound up and waiting to slowly heal. Sigh. H was home early and able to finish dinner (thanks honey!) so at least that didn’t get spoiled since I was suddenly incapable of doing anything. I ate left handed. That was charming to watch, I’m sure.

Incidently, it’s rather hard to type and knit. Fortunately the movie we watched tonight was way too gory to knit to anyway, so no harm done.

Get better soon thumb! I need you!

Apparently people are now calculating the “carbon footprint” of excess weight.

Well I’m almost back to normal. Probably 95%. A few twinges if I attempt to head for the floor or bend over, and I still get sore if I do too much, otherwise all good. I think.

The thing is I’m now very scared of my back going out again. That was awful — much more awful than anything previously related to my back, including when I originally hurt it 16 years ago. Pregnancy doesn’t help with the situation either.

So I’ve come up with some rules for myself in an attempt to keep myself functioning the best I can for the next couple of months — or beyond.

1. No sitting on the floor.

The child is so not happy about this one.  Pretty much his most treasured activities occur on the floor — playing with trains, cars, doing puzzles, what have you. I’ve tried to convince him to do these things on the table so I can participate, and sometimes that works, but not always. It certainly hasn’t stopped him asking. Over and over and over.

It also means I have a devil of a time getting him dressed and putting on things like shoes. Not to mentioning cleaning up certain things, like cat puke (ugh).

Nevertheless I’m determined to stand firm. My back going out again simply cannot happen again, and sitting on the floor just makes my back hurt constantly. Not to mention it makes my belly hurt too.

2. No bending over.

It’s amazing how many things require bending over that you don’t think about. Dishwasher, laundry, bathing a child or yourself, using the toilet, cleaning, getting in and out of a car, sewing for that matter. I’ve never done so many squats in my life as loading the dishwasher today. I suppose this could be a good thing! If my knee didn’t hurt as well. Ha.

Unfortunately for the child, yet again, this means no train table playing. He’s grumpy about this one too.

3.  Taking time outs.

I need to rest. It’s pretty rare that I’m go-go-go anyway, but I need to take time to sit down, possibly with a hot water bottle if my back is aching, and just not move for a while. That sounds counterproductive to health, but rest is just the best thing for my back at the moment. So rest it is.

The child isn’t thrilled about this one either, although he can sit in my lap (or what’s left of it) at least.

You’ve probably spotted a trend in the rules above where the child isn’t happy about any of this. And that really, truly pains me. I’m sorry I can’t be the interactive mommy I want to be — even if being that interactive drove me loony in and of itself. I still want to be that person.

The logical part of my brain (what’s left of it) knows that in a prioritized list of what a mom should do, the top things have nothing to do with playing or keeping your child happy. They include things like keeping him clean, clothed, fed, and keeping the house generally in a state that won’t require CPS being called. When it comes down to my back, these are the things I have to protect. These are the things I have to do no matter what. If that means I can’t play trains, then I can’t play trains.

Part of me thinks, “he’ll survive”. Which is absolutely true. But it does make me sad. Shouldn’t life be about more than survival? It seems like we’ve been in “survival mode” for quite a while now, and I don’t like it. It doesn’t feel very nurturing, much less fun. I keep saying that I’m looking forward to spring and summer when we can play outdoors and learn things like riding a bike and visit parks and go for lots of walks and….

Then I remember that we’re supposed to have a baby by then. How on earth is that going to work?

Ah well. We’ll see. I’m going to stick by my rules and try to explain to him as much as possible that it’s more important for mommy to save her back than to play trains. It’s more important for mommy to be able to cook than to spin in one place. He doesn’t believe me, but I guess this is one of those times they tell you about when you and your child just aren’t going to see eye to eye. And I do, in fact, know best.

My back is slowly healing (I can get out of bed by myself! Yay!) but other things are rearing their ugly heads. Some pregnancy related, some not.

On the pregnancy front, I’ve got some issues that I’ve never had to deal with before. We’ll blame these on excess weight:

• My right knee is popping and very sore. Not good.
• Occasional heartburn. Let’s hope this doesn’t become frequent.
• Freakin’ horrible leg cramps in the night. They wake me up and I want to scream. Ooooowwwww!!!

And last night I had a sore throat, although it’s better today. Honestly. I could use a break!

Sigh. My back is out again.

I’m particularly annoyed this time because I was trying to be extra careful not to do anything to make my back angry. I don’t even know what did it this time — usually I can tell when I’ve bent over too much or whatever it is that annoys my spinal column. This time? It just crept up on me until Valentine’s night I could hardly move.

I’m also really mad at myself for letting my body get this out of control.  For living in denial that anything needs my attention right this second. I prefer living like Scarlett O’Hara — it can all wait until tomorrow, right?

Apparently not. I shouldn’t be this heavy, I should be exercising more, and I should be taking better care of myself. As it is I cannot take care of my 3 year old, my hubby has to do everything including hauling my ass up off the floor when I’m literally stuck on my knees and can’t get up for the pain, and we won’t get into personal hygiene issues.

Sigh. I am feeling slightly better today, although still totally wiped. I’m making a Zeebee hat for hubby and can only manage an 1/8 of the pattern at a time. Too tired. Too much constant pain. I hope to get better enough by tomorrow to visit uncle-in-law-the-chiropractor. If I can suck up the nerve to call him.

Most annoying thing? Last month being really sick for a week totally cut into my knitting and sewing time, and now this is doing the same thing! I really need to be healthy in March so I can finish my quilt, my mom’s birthday present, and all the baby pressies I have lined up to make! I was really getting psyched about the quilt too. The piecework is insane! I so don’t understand quilting, but it’s fascinating nonetheless.

Of course that’s really not the worst thing. The worst thing is I’ve let myself get in this position where I cannot really do the things that need to be done, i.e. exercise more and lose weight to make things easier on my back. Not with a baby in utero. I hope I remember this episode once life is back to normal with el bebe because really? Nobody needs an incapacitated mommy.

Last year I was having the worst pretty bad dental problems (I think they’re the worst, but I do know that in fact there are much worse things that can happen). I can’t find the post, but I know I wrote about it. Basically the dentist we went to when we first moved here completely shook any confidence I had in the industry and I’ve struggled to find a dentist since. I’ve even gone into denial that I need to see one. It wasn’t good.

Today though, I finally had an appointment with yet another new dentist, and it was wonderful! And I don’t say that a lot about dentists.

They said I had lovely teeth! They could tell that I brush and floss regularly (which makes for a big change from a lifetime of hygenists lecturing me about how I need to floss even though I was already doing it) and said that everything looked good. I do have one cavity (surprise, surprise, but at least it’s not the three (out of seven, four of which I suffered to get filled) that the other dentist claimed, but that she a) has a different method of numbing which is made just for people like me who have problems with novocain taking, and b) promises to give me some TLC. Yay!

The hygenist was equally nice. She used some crazy sonic tool to get off the plaque and tartar which worked better than traditional methods for my teeth. Oh and I learned something new! Part of why I have such problems with my teeth is that they aren’t flat, they’re ridged, so despite my brushing and flossing properly there are still spots I simply can’t clean on my own. I might look into a sonic toothbrush, but will have to do some research on that prospect.

ANYWAY. I’m practically thrilled. Best part? They take my insurance, and even told me how much to expect to pay out of pocket for the cavity filling, which is yet another problem I’m had with dentists here. Clearly they know what’s up with insurance. Thank goodness. Lord knows I’m sick to death of insurance problems.

Most importantly, today I have happy teeth! So I’m a happy girl.

I was telling my brother about my back, and he convinced me to go see my uncle-in-law of sorts who just happens to be a chiropractor. I’ve never seen a chiropractor before, so it was an interesting experience.

Most interestingly, he gave me a diagnosis of a slipped disk.

Ah ha.

I’ve heard of this mysterious slipped disk illness, which also goes by a million other names. I also thought it only happened to older people. Nevermind that I’m getting older myself! It’s just that I’ve had this particular problem since I was 16 and I didn’t think that was normal amongst that age group.

Regardless, this man worked a bit of magic and my boy has a mobile mama back now, which is good. The bad side is that I have to be very, very careful about my back now. Not that I wasn’t careful before, I’m a good girl, I lift things properly, etc. But uncle-in-law said I also needed to not lean over. Ever.

This could be problematic. I got injured this time by leaning over the car seat to buckle in the kiddo — he can’t really do that himself, so I’m working on squishing myself more into the car so I don’t have to lean over as much.  However this evening I was giving the kiddo a bath and realized there was no way in hell I could do it without leaning over. Just not possible. Hmm. This is going to take some work!

Obviously worth it though — it’s entirely possible my back could someday get so bad it just won’t get better, and then it will need surgery, and that’s not good. Apparently every time you injure your disk it rips a little bit more, a little bit more scar tissue builds up, and the next time it’s a little more likely that you won’t recover. That’s pretty much all I needed to hear.

Unfortunately the other thing that helps with slipped disks is losing weight. At least uncle-in-law had the decency not to mention that one. Sigh.

P.S. I totally took some crafty photos today, hopefully I’ll get them up soon! :D 

My back is out. Again. Was buckling the Boo in his car seat, stood up, and wham. Shooting pains down my back. I’ve been hobbling ever since. Owwwww.

On the bright side, the hedgehog is nearly done!

So my mom sent me this thing called the Neti Pot. She has friends that swear by it and since I am constantly complaining about my nose, she thought I should try it. My mom is nothing if not well intentioned!

And now, TMI about my nasal passages. The thing about my nose is that it’s never clear. Never, ever, ever. There’s always crap up my nose. Sometimes it’s runny but more often there’s just crusty stuff up there. It’s uncomfortable and itchy and annoying. I tend to wonder if this is the normal state of affairs for one’s nose, but it would be nice if my nose was actually dry for once in my life. It was bitching about this for the nth time to my mother that propelled her to buy something for me that involves pouring saline solution up your nose. And I’m desperate enough to try it.

It sounds a bit crazy. You put this solution of what appears to be baking soda and salt in some water in this little pot, you stick the spout of the pot in one of your nostrils, and, while bending over, tilt your head, and the solution goes up your nose and (in theory) out the other nostril. It’s quite possibly one of the strangest experiences I’ve ever had. You have to go into this slowly because, to be honest, the feeling inside your nose is akin to snorting water up your nose in a heavily chlorinated pool. And it continues to feel strange for quite a while.

I’m getting more used to it now. I do have to say that if you have a completely blocked nose, it’s a pain to get the solution flowing. Much spluttering is involved.

The amazing thing is that it is working. My nose (when I use it, I’m not in a daily habit as of yet) is not quite so crusty and gross. The box claims to provide instant sinus relief and be a natural alternative to pills and sprays. Well, I don’t use pills and sprays anyway, but it may turn out to make me a much happier person whose not constantly obsessing about their nose. That would be nice!