Lately I’ve been feeling very perplexed about the economy and the environment.

I willingly admit I don’t know anything about economics, perhaps a smidge more about the environment. However, I do know a mixed message when I see it, and I’m getting some serious mixed messages here.

On the one hand, we’re supposed to reduce, reuse, and recycle, right? We do that. Probably the same amount as friends out here; a lot more than some people I know back home. I generally feel quite good about our RRRs, with the exception of all the packaging at TJs — why do you have to be so yummy, Trader Joes?

Anyway. I’ve almost become a fiend in some ways. I save everything. You should see the number of glass jars in our house and plastic tubs in my craft room. Everything has possibility. It’s both wonderful and exhausting at the same time.

So that’s good, right?

The whole handmade movement has really put into focus what was already an impulse (I always think I can make everything), but not necessarily my first. I grew up thinking, what do we need to buy when a problem presented itself. These days, my initial reaction is almost always either “what do we already have that will work” or “how can we make that?” which means I don’t buy nearly as much as I once would have.

For example, I apparently have a clematis growing in the backyard, which is a climbing plant. Previously it apparently grew up the side of the house, which I know isn’t good for the house, so I don’t want it to do that. However, I like clematis and don’t want to rip it up. So clearly it needs something else to climb up. I thought about buying something, one of those bamboo teepees or something (nevermind the irony that I also have live bamboo in my yard), then realized I could use the plethora of sticks in our yard to build some contraption over the plant that would provide climability. Presto! Problem solved and didn’t cost a thing.

On the one hand what I did was brilliant, if I do say so myself, on the other hand, bad for the economy. So confusing!

Generally I can’t help but think, screw the economy. Except… you can’t really say that. The economy is vital to our lifestyle, no matter how much we may dislike it or wish it were different. So I keep feeling this very tangible and very real push and pull that on the one hand I need to buy things to support jobs and companies and the government but on the other hand I need to cut back, live more frugally and use what I’ve already got.

Well, shit.

Having gotten rid of most of our catalogs (I have to admit to keeping a few that I just adore and that I find inspirational), having pretty much stopped shopping unless I need something specific (my children and stores do not go together well), I’ve realized I don’t need a lot and I don’t miss what I didn’t know existed.

I’ve also realized recently that part of the problem with my life and my internal struggles that keep spilling out on these pages, is that I’m surrounded by crap. I’m surrounded by the very things I’m trying to avoid. And their very presence is slowly destroying me because of my very own philosophies.

Let me try to elucidate that one!

I generally believe in moderation. I don’t do denial of desired objects. I believe that just increases one’s desires for them, be it ice cream or video games or whatever. Of course my preferred option is to not know it exists — out of sight, out of mind, if you will. However if something happens to BE in sight, well then you have to do mental gymnastics about whether or not you splurge, coming up with good reasons why not, etc. This is complicated ten fold with children, nevermind just doing it for myself.

The other day we were at the zoo on a glorious spring day. I couldn’t help but notice they were getting ready for summer crowds. There was a cordoned off area where they were stocking ice cream vending machines, at least 10 if not more. There were dippin’ dots stands all over the place, I swear nearly around every corner. Then of course there’s the regular stands that offer all the other crap — more ice cream, popcorn, pretzels, etc. And THEN there’s the official food place which also offers mostly crap. ARGH. Hello, can we not have a fruit stand? Small farmer’s market maybe? Geez.

Fortunately, while my kiddo noticed them, he was easily dissuaded by the fact that they were closed, although that didn’t stop him from asking for ice cream on the way home. So you see? I’m surrounded by crap. How am I supposed to enjoy a visit to the zoo with my kids if they’re assaulted by ice cream every time they turn around? The entire visit will be spent explaining why they can’t have yet another one, because undoubtably they’ll have one at some point, because we will want some too, and the screaming will commence and we’ll leave and no one will be happy. I understand the zoo needs to make money, but for god’s sake. That’s not going to be fun. What the hell?

So, I’m saying in a very long-winded way that I’m frustrated. I’m frustrated that the government, the media, billboards, magazines, web sites, talk shows, commercials, radio, just everything is all buy buy buy for stuff I already know I don’t need! I’m surrounded! It’s like being in a virtual hole I can’t dig out of. Well I suppose I could, if I lived on a ranch in Wyoming where nothing was in sight. But then we wouldn’t have our life and we like our life. We’re city people.

Not to mention the whole “It’s eco-friendly! It’s green! Buy this instead of that!” Buy buy buy. Marketers jumping on a bandwagon that doesn’t really solve anything, because the real problem is over-consumption, and if it did solve the over-consumption problem, all those folks would be out of a job as would the people who make the product, not to mention the farms that grow the product and… sigh. The only solution to over-consumption is to stop consuming, but the effect of that is apparently devastating.

Even if we did live on a ranch in the middle of nowhere running off our own solar power and drinking from our own well, we’d still need to invest our money somewhere, which brings us back to the stock market and the damn economy. Some members of my own dear family invest in things that are totally and completely against their own moral code, yet it’s okay because it will make them money. So we all bitch and moan about fast food being the bane of society but it’s okay to own stock in it? That’s just not okay with me, except look at those other people earning their retirement with nothing more than a click. How much are one’s morals really worth? What am I supposed to do about that?

It’s so perplexing. And exhausting.

This entry was posted on Saturday, April 25th, 2009 at 9:51 am and is filed under Thoughts, Etc. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.